I got chris browned last night
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
MIDGETS
????
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize