it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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