told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
