I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
