he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
