so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
