The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
