Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
