I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
