so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
