Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize