Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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