My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
