Your face is a jimmy john
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize