you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
