I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
