I need help removing her.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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