I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
