Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
