are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize