I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
