we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
