..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
