You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
