I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize