TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
