I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
