She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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