If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
