that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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