Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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