I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
