chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
