I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize