apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is classic penis vs brain.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
