First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
