Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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