SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
