: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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