Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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