first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so let's talk penis.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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