I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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