i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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