It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
