I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
