"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
