Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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