I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you never un-have a 4some
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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