Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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