So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I understand Curling. That high.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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