I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize