Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
