yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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