i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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