Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
