i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize