why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
