"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
