Cold hands, warm shart.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think i got beer on your cat.
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