You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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