I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
