i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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