Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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