come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
