it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
